If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
