I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
