Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
