Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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