I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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