Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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