Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
It's just like the Real World with babies
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you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
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