like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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