I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
