i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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