you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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