i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
it hurts more in the daytime
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Randomize
