Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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