I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
