Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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