people are starting to question the shark bite story
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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