Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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