There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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