dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
