youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
