You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
