i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
