u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
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