Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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