Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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