You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
