and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I need water and some morals
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
