hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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