I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
