I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
