In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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