Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
