i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Randomize
