just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
