Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
