Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
