We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
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