plz talk dirty to me
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
