Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
