There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
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