is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
