Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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