is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
