try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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