i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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