She is in my trunk
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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