Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
