Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
