My nipple is on Facebook.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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