problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
