Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
