i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
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she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
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If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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