i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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