Dual....:-)
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I'm having to shit out rocks
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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