I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
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Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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