If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
