Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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