I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
