I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
