Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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