If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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