PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
