I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
