I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
it hurts more in the daytime
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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