I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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