I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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