I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
