He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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