Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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