so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
