I feel like I'm in dance class right now
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
