the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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